Love and Doubt

• awful nightmares interspersed with waking up repeatedly with a sick dog that needed to go outside to poop his brains out
• a soul-crushing e-mail that a client who can’t see her MD as often as she needs to because of insurance costs is over the federal income guidelines for assistance with co-pays and deductibles
• the phone call minutes later that the math was done wrong and she can get help after all
• a client who has been homeless for years calling to tell me she’s finally been moved off the wait list and will be in her own apartment within a month
• cramps cramps cramps all day long
• e-mails all day long about how to help out a co-worker who was diagnosed with ALS
• facebook told me my best friend from childhood’s dad just died
• now i’m sitting on the couch too tired to make myself food
• let mad men season 2 begin. i hate everyone on that show except Paul Kinsey

On Friday I found out that a friend and former CARES co-worker had committed suicide. Today we had a memorial service which, though very sweet and representative of all the lives he touched, turned me into a wreck for the rest of the day. I’m trying to cram too much into this week before I leave for vacation, and I’m stressed out and exhausted.

Please hug your local social worker. And please let it be me, because today was a really long day, and I cried in supervision because domestic violence is the worst.

UGHHHHH. Ok. No more work talk.