Love and Doubt

• awful nightmares interspersed with waking up repeatedly with a sick dog that needed to go outside to poop his brains out
• a soul-crushing e-mail that a client who can’t see her MD as often as she needs to because of insurance costs is over the federal income guidelines for assistance with co-pays and deductibles
• the phone call minutes later that the math was done wrong and she can get help after all
• a client who has been homeless for years calling to tell me she’s finally been moved off the wait list and will be in her own apartment within a month
• cramps cramps cramps all day long
• e-mails all day long about how to help out a co-worker who was diagnosed with ALS
• facebook told me my best friend from childhood’s dad just died
• now i’m sitting on the couch too tired to make myself food
• let mad men season 2 begin. i hate everyone on that show except Paul Kinsey

Work is stressing me out, and I can’t wait to be on vacation. On Friday Andy and I are driving down to ATL, staying in a hotel for the night, and then heading off to the Dominican Republic with his family for 7 days. Can’t wait for all expenses paid food and drank (though as a non-meat eating straight edge kid I really don’t get my money’s worth) and reading my Kindle on a beach chair and not having to call a gazillion people every day. But man oh man I’m going to miss this little face. Longest we’ll have ever been away from him.

On Friday I found out that a friend and former CARES co-worker had committed suicide. Today we had a memorial service which, though very sweet and representative of all the lives he touched, turned me into a wreck for the rest of the day. I’m trying to cram too much into this week before I leave for vacation, and I’m stressed out and exhausted.

Tomorrow could be a very long day. I feel nauseous just thinking about it.

EDIT: I just realized how melodramatic that sounds. I have to take a client out of her domestic violence situation and put her into a shelter. I’m going to have to have a police officer escort us into the house. Keep her in your thoughts tomorrow.

• SO glad this work week is over. I was feeling majorly burnt out yesterday/today
• I just got home from my friend Shelby’s art show. She’s better at art stuff than your friend Shelby.
• I FINALLY found the Grilled Cheeserie and had a delicious buttermilk cheddar, bacon and avocado melt on sourdough. Boooooom!
• Tomorrow Andy and I have a day off together! And the weather is supposed to be nice!
• Deadwood is getting so fucking good, and I hate that I’m going to run out of episodes soon.
• This headache just ain’t going away!
• Exclamation points!

But looks like I’m doing it 2 more days this week!